Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Randomize
