If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
