My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
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