Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
