Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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