i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
