what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
