seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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