you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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