Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
of course. lets lasso hookers.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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