that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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