drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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