i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
