So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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