Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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