So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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