I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
