I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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