you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
You ate ashes out of my bong
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
