Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
