i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize