And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
