think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I need to align my fucking chakras
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
