grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
