Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
