So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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