Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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