Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
