I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
