...so i touched it.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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