Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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