I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
