i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
