The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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