Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I think my vagina is haunted
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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