hotel room ftw
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
