super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
