i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
