It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
