I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
