Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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