Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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