Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
