so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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