I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
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