i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
even my farts smell like vagina
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
