I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
