We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
