after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
