im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
