only if we run a train.
done.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
