Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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