im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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