people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
