I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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