I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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