It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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