She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
