If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
